Waiting

Lately my routine has consisted of something like this: Wake up in the morning to an alarm and then sleep for another hour, then try to convince my husband for the next half hour that he should really get up and get ready for work, eat breakfast and have family scripture study and prayer, make lunch and try to convince my husband that he needs to leave for work or else he will be late, shower and get ready for the day (though depending on how motivated I am this sometimes doesn't happen until afternoon), check the mail, and.... hmm how best to describe what it is I do for the rest of the day? I wait. I wait for my boredom to magically disappear, I wait for motivation to go out walking, I wait for motivation to make a good dinner, I wait for my Nathaniel to come home, or for him to text, I wait for brilliant ideas that will help me spend my time well, but most of all, I wait for him.

With just over a week left until his due date, waiting for Adam has become one of the biggest events of my life. I am waiting for it all to happen, for labor, delivery, tons of pain, and everything that comes with it, most especially for my son. I am actually pleased to admit that this kind of waiting is the kind I handle best. It is like the anticipation I used to get before a big dance or a big race, the biggest difference though, is that I feel like I have been waiting for this for most of my life. Having my first baby ranks right up there with getting married to my prince charming, I know it will be worth the wait. I can just picture Adam, tiny, wrinkled in my arms and me, just staring at him, reacting to funny noises and funny faces he will make. Wanting with my whole soul to protect him from everything, but knowing that he will still cry and still hurt, but I will cry and hurt right along with him.

Things are ready now, we have a car seat hooked into the back seat, dresser full of clothes and blankets, crib with bumpers, ruffles, caddy, mattress, mattress cover, a supply of diapers, a stroller and about everything else we could think of. Just like me, they wait.